Monday, April 11, 2011

Amazing blog from Jeff Symonds

First race of the season is in..... a team race and Jeff did such a good job at showing the reality of full time athletes that i will simply post is blog here....!!!!


Ski2Sea Team Race Report

Big win out there for the The Bike Barn team at the Ski 2 Sea yesterday. It was our fourth year competing in the event and with the extinction of Total Restoration Cycling the door was wide open for a new champion. The team has come leaps and bounds since the DQ debacle back in 2007. This year the cuts were fierce. Former members were left with a bitter taste in their mouths after learning about the 2011 team roster. The dream team had been assembled and here is the exclusive story of how it all went down.

It was a late start, as the race was held up waiting for a single late skier. Report is that the skier finally showed up 10 minutes late. As the other teams anxious and frustratingly waited, the skier attempted to ski down to the start line when disaster struck.Apparently it looked something like this:

The race was further held up as the skier needed time to figure out he the hell he was and collect his equipment that had been yard saled across the slope. Glad it wasn't are guy.

Downhill Ski - Aart "The Captain" Van Kooy

The past three years Aart had done the Mountain Bike, but this year transferred his duties and took over the dirty job that nobody else wanted to do, the downhill ski. The ski would be nice and easy if not for the lung busting 800m uphill run that preceded it. "The Captain" also gets bonus points for attempting the leg after not having downhill skied since the 80's, a time when he may or may not have worn jeans while skiing and had a full head of hair. Aart skied well finishing in the top ten, limiting the time to our rivals and avoiding the big packs that followed after him. Rumour has it that an unnamed rival bike store tried to recruit him to do the mountain bike leg. We were able to catch a good picture of him with his black gear and over sized helmet, see below.

Nordic Ski - Jeff Rockin' Kerkovious

I didn't even have to make up that nickname, I stole it straight off his facebook page. Jeff more than lived up to the nickname with a Rockstar like effort that moved the team into third place. Jeff was both the new guy and at 18 the youngest member of the Bike Barn team. If he wasn't feeling the pressure before, he certainly was after Evan told him "you better lose not lose it for us". Jeff put it all out there collapsing. He also gave the best interview as he was the only one who made the cut on tonight's edition of the CHBC news. And yes that is Canadian Tire money in the picture below remember the nickname is Rockin' not classy. It just goes to show what Canadian Amateur athletes are willing to do these days to finance their dreams.

PAPARAZZI MOMENT. Doug "Hollywood" Copithorne from the classic film Ski School 2 was reportedly spotted at the Ski 2 Sea sporting Bike Barn clothing. It was not confirmed whether he was competing in the event or filming another sequel. More on this as it becomes available.

Geoff "Akon" Waterman was also seen at the hill. Geoff was a member of the Bike Barn Ski2Sea in 2009 but after declining his spot in 2010 he was passed on for 2011. Grudgingly Geoff found another team to ski for. Unfortunately he had to watch as all the other teams tag off until he was last one left standing. Rumor has it he was humming Akon's Mr. Lonely quietly to himself. Geoff is a jack of all trade and if any of our 2011 team members drop out or decide to do it solo next year (hmmmm, interesting thought) he will be the first call.

Mountain Bike - Evan "Business" Guthrie

Evan Meant business and business he delivered. Down four minutes at the start of the leg and up two by the end. Performance of the Day.How did that happen? Besides the obvious massive amount of force on the pedals, the answer lies in his meticulous preparation. He set a windtrainer up in transition to warm-up. He didn't care that most people assumed he was just trying to show off. He also built up a custom bike designed specifically for the race. Details of the bike cannot be revealed on this blog and will be passed only passed down to future team members with utmost of secrecy. Evan also used a massive amount of safety pins to fasten down his jersey. He looked a lot like this guy only marginally cooler.

Why was Evan so business-like? Because he figured "If we win Ski 2 Sea we'll have more success with the ladies". Not true here is a graph detailing how ski2sea impacts your ski2Sea placing affects your success with Girls. As you can see no impact.

I also showed him how your level of success in endurance sports affects your success with the ladies.

Many theory's exist on why this is, but spending hours on your bike and going to bed early are generally not good ways to meet girls.

Jonny "Titanic" Caron

Jonny was like tragic vessel today, in that he descended quickly but more so because of how he frozen he looked before his leg. It was freezing and snowy out and the prospect of descending at 85+km/h wasn't exactly uplifting. When left him at the start of the leg we managed to snap a picture, the photo is a little blurry so it is hard to recognize him.

He warmed up quickly and reintroduced himself to his good friend lactic acid for the first time this year. He then put a on a clinic for the Roadies on the other team, Triathlon 101 with the first topic being aerodynamics and its importance on a downhill time trial.When it was all said and done Jonny had the fastest split of day.Jonny rode a prototype Orbea TT frame with a geometry designed specifically for the Big White decent. It is referred to as the P51 but will be available at all respectable bike shops in the near future as the Orbea "JonnyO". The women's version will be appropriately named the Orbea "Oh Jonny".

Run - Myself (No Nickname given, *see article 91 of the Bro Code)

This was the first time in a ski2sea where I had not only gotten the hand off in contention for the race but also leading the race. I ran hard and the run was uneventful I held the lead throughout. I ended up losing some time to Aaron Heidt when it was all said and done. I'll blame it the short turn around from Oceanside. I'll also blame the mid race pitstop to one of the city of Kelowna's fine restroom facilities. Remember being a champion isn't about just winning the race, but winning the race with your dignity intact.

Canoe - Dave "Opportunity" Kitson and Brad "Don't tell my doctor" Lee were

Brad had a gutsy race competing in the event just 5 days after having surgery on his left knee. If you look closely at the photo below (far left in blue) you can see a grimace on his face and him running to help us get the boat across as fast as possible.

Dave skied for the team last year and despite his disappointment at being replaced, (like I said earlier the cuts were tough) he jumped at the opportunity to compete in the Canoe portion when word of an injury came in. Like Tom Brady in 2001 Dave would not let the opportunity go to waste. Before the race Brad and Dave said that in order to stay ahead of Fresh Air's strong paddlers and there Carbon fibre vessel they would need a four minute lead. The most nerve racking part of the day was waiting for The Fresh Air runner to come in and tag off their canoeist to see if we had build up at least a 4 minute buffer. It took just over five minutes before Aaron came through the tunnel and we knew that our guys would get 'er done.They came through with great pacing and a solid second half to secure the slim 1:19 margin of victory.

We concluded the day with a post race lunch at Earl's and when our server asked what we were up to today Evan responded in his best Charlie Sheen Impression "Winning". Perfect.

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